Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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