The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Boobs are out for the taking
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
