Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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