Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
MIDGETS
????
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
