she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
