Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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