I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
