i wish peter jackson would direct porn
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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