Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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