Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
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