shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
