He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
