I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
