He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
