yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
