You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
