Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
