Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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