Ambien. No doubt about it.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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