My first STD was from a foam party
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize