Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
