Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
