ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
