guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
