I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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