Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
