how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
