What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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