those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
