she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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