Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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