Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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