Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Its about making memories worth repressing
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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