it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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