Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
