Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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