just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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