im having a threesome with these popsicles
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
