i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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