You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
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