guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
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