Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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