my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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