So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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