I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
So much rum. So many feels.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
