its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
