I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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