So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i need an iv and a liver transplant
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
