I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
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My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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