Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
