in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
