You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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