He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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