no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
