Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
