You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize