Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
