Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize