i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize