Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Everyone says I win the strip club
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
